


not all of these things are lies

by whitchry9



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Blind Character, Character Study, Depression, Disability, F/M, Gen, Introspection, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 08:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3643725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitchry9/pseuds/whitchry9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of these things are true. No one will say which ones are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not all of these things are lies

Some of these things are true:

 

 

Matt does not miss his vision at all. In fact, he's better off now without it. Seeing is overrated. Radar completely makes up for it. Reading computer screens was annoying anyway. Screenreaders are definitely the way to go.

 

Sometimes Matt wakes up in the morning and hates himself.

 

Matt was still a tiny bit surprised when they disbarred him in New York. Yes, he knew it was probably going to happen, but he held the tiniest amount of hope that they would recognize all that he had done for them, both in the court room and outside it. All he had done, Daredevil had done, for Hell's Kitchen. All of the blood he had spilled on its streets and for its people.

He had nearly died so many times.

Still, he knew it was coming. It just hurt.

 

Happy Matt is not an act. Foggy was wrong every time he thought it was.

 

Matt still has dreams where he can see. They usually end with the old man, and every time he makes the same decision.

On his worst days, he regrets it.

He wakes up angry at himself when that happens.

 

Matt is not angry at his mother. He knows why she did what she did, and he has forgiven her, absolutely and completely.

 

Sometimes Matt wakes up in the morning and doesn't hate himself.

 

Matt has lost the same amount of people that everyone else has. He has not experienced breathtaking loss. He has not gone mad with loneliness or heartbreak. He mourns and continues living because that's what you have to do in this world in order to survive.

 

Matt never stands on top of tall buildings and thinks about jumping off without his billy club. He never thinks about what would happen if he missed one day. He never wonders what it would be like to finally lose.

 

He never gets overwhelmed by his senses. He's never fallen to his knees in the middle of a New York sidewalk because the noise and the people and every single bit of information bombarding his brain was too much. He's never looked into sensory processing disorder. He's never wondered if there was a way to just make it all stop, even if just for a little while. He's never had problems adjusting because of his senses.

 

Matt never wakes up in the morning hating himself.

 

The only darkness within Matt is because he can't see, not because he can't find himself. He has never been so lost that he hasn't been able to find his way out of bed in the morning or fight his way out of a tight corner. He has never been so low that he has hit bedrock and can't keep digging.

 

Daredevil has never been called red Batman.

 

Matt has multiple good friends, not just Foggy, and his love life has been interesting and rewarding. He still entertains the idea of settling down and having a family and a normal life and being happy.

 

Matt Murdock is not Daredevil.

 

Matt Murdock is Daredevil, and everyone is okay with that.

 

 

Not all of these things are lies.

(But some of them he pretends to be true so it hurts less.)


End file.
